Current Chronicles: Three Word Stories

I don't know when I stopped writing in this blog. It's probably not THAT long, maybe a week or so. But whenever I skip to write, even for a day, I feel like I haven't blogged for years. I'm so sorry for not taking care of my little space. I'm still thinking of the best way to utilize my home site, but really. Enough of that for now. I just want to write.

Recently, I have been writing Three Word Stories in my FB, and I found it quite interesting how to put all those thoughts and words and feelings into just three words. Makes me think. A lot. It's quite fun! I've been doing it since Easter and I feel I sound sarcastic. Those three words tell everything, and I don't know if this is some direction I'd like to take with this blog.

What do you think?

Anyways, since I'm at that, let me tell you bits and pieces of me with just three words.

Tokyo Next Year. Yes, I have convinced myself to do it. I want to travel. I don't want to travel alone, but this one. I'm excited. I'm excited to use my not-so-polished Japanese to the locals. Bring it on. I'm thinking Spring season, but wait. I have NO LOVED ONE to enjoy it with. Summer is OK too.

Love Never Fails. I would like to post my inner monologue about Love when I have time.

Summer To Sauna.



Mukai Osamu Please.

A Dialogue: To me you are Moon.

I knew you were watching me. From the very beginning. I was irked at having your warm gaze all over me, like a hot sun on a full blast on a summer day. Whenever you are around, it makes me feel like my sacred loneliness is violated. It feels like all of my breath is taken away and my heart is pumping mad, angry and overwhelmed at the same time.

You were like a dog following me around. I hated that. And much more, I hated the way you looked at me, as if you were looking at my very soul. As if I didn't have any flesh or bones to hide my heart with. Your big, round eyes can see everything. I want to hide whenever you're around. But the strange thing is, I want you around.

I wanted you around.

A Dialogue: To me you are Night.

I'm still looking for the traces of your existence.
Inside my head, on my bed, in the shadows.
You were there. I know you were there.
The only thing I heard from you was half a beat, lips puckering to form a word. Eyes glinting under the moonlight, your jet black hair dancing under the night.

Night.

That's your name. To me you are night. The dark end of the day. Nothing about you is bright. Your countenance manifests deep sorrow, as painful as the number of times you allowed needles to pierce through your body. The result was beautiful: a healthy swivel of tattoos over your arm, in full color. The hues were fading now, but I wonder. Maybe at the beginning, everything was draped in one: bloody red.

The things I should be reminded to do...

Because things slowed down this Holy Week, I've got lots of time to think. Well, basically I can blame it on the summer heat and our uncooperative Internet connection. Philippines, c'mon.

The many things I wanted to say:

Love never fails.

Love never fails. At the end of the day, even if sometimes, I'm looking to slip into someone's arms and fall over that one dear hand who can physically assuage my broken soul, an invisible, constant love is enough. Human hands aren't always there. And sometimes, human hands can be careless. Human hands can hurt too.

Devodiary: A big bear hug

Last night, I had my "talk." It was one of those beautiful moments when I just come to God like a child running after finding out something bad, and hoping that His big, loving arms could comfort me. It did. It always has.

A Tuesday Story

I was born on a Tuesday. 1985.
In a pleasant afternoon where the next day
All of the world rejoices
New Year has come.
My birthday was something kind of a jubilee
There were fireworks, celebrations and laughter.
Round things, wine and families getting together.
That day was a Tuesday.

I am officially a happy, smiley girl. For many official reasons.

Because really, when you do things out of your heart, the fullness of God's blessings blossom.

Current Chronicles: Never going back that road. Again.

Hello blog, I missed you. I tremble to think that this has become a 'Current Chronicles' blog but since my current chronicles are all about work, I don't have time to write freely. Okay. I lied. I'm just being lazy.

To the strongest woman I know, Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday, Mama, and to the woman who borne you, whom we've all been missing sorely.

Current Chronicles: Where my consciousness is

So let me give you a rundown of the crazy things that happened this week. Mind you, they're little crazies.

On finally, finally starting on my story, which I dream to be in print one day.

I am starting on my write-a-book-and-hope-it-gets-published journey this year, which allows me to learn many things about authoring and creating and bending the rules of the word just to give the right plot. Here are some of the lessons I've learned:

You don't need anyone to tell you where to go

You don't need anyone to tell you where to go
When to go
How to go
Why to go

 

You will have your own reasons, your own timing
Your own place and your own pace
You will have your own adventures
Different from anybody else's
No journey is ever the same

 

Current Chronicles: Updates on the life of the kid-woman

I rest my "I am not acting like a grownup" case. I have always acted like a grownup. I am as grownup as I can get. I should not wheedle my self in pushing for a more grownup me. I have always been who I am and why am I always complaining about that?

A song about a grown-up who doesn't act like one

I am a grown up
I am a grown up
Although I don't act like one
I am a grown up
I am a grown up
But I don't act like one

And that's my inner head monologue at this moment, and despite the contrast, I'm just the happiest girl-woman at least, here. Now don't be surprised if I skipped or sang or played piano all at erratic times, because happiness comes in waves and it doesn't want to stop, but it just wants to reach different places.

I hope you don't have any problems with a grown up not acting like a grown up.

I have been calculating hearts, not numbers

They say that it's always good to leave your doors open
That you can always pick opportunities more than priorities
Because opportunities only knock once
And you should answer the call at once before it leaves.

 

They say you should always look out for chances
Like hidden tunnels on a wall of solid rock
Where dreams pierce through like bullet, straight to the point
A fast-track elevator to your stars

A work schedule for individuals who wants to live a meaningful life

Shopping for spring: 59 Minutes Tees From Yesstyle

It's my first time, after a long time, to shop outside the country. Shopping from Singapore's GMarket was a failure for me, truly, which is why I stopped buying from online stores outside the Philippines. I really don't know what went wrong, and the product is probably rotting inside our ports but it still didn't get to me and I'd probably experience the same even if I bought at another Asian store. But when I heard about how Yesstyle delivers right into our homes (via a network of local couriers), I just had to give it a try. After all, shipping is free for $25 orders, and I guess an experiment won't be bad!

Spring/Summer is near, and adding a few nice shirts in my closet would be nice, especially that I am such a cardigan / long sleeve / casual wear lover that I have a little number of tees. And nothing could be sweeter than dainty items sold by 59 Minutes, which also offers 24-hour shipping (because I guess they're a local Hong Kong market and are stocked in the warehouse). I decided to shop with my $50 leisure allowance with this trial. And these two are among what I've bought:

Of being alone and feeling lonely inwardly.

You might have already known that I am an introvert. I guess it's pretty much obvious; the wordiness of this blog equates to how many sentences I wanted to vent out but don't know how. I'm not vocal. I'm usually thinking, waiting for the right timing, and if the timing doesn't come, then I'll forget what I have to say. I have been programmed like this, a tiny little turtle that shies away inside a shell whenever she's sees too much of the world, which is too less.

But for someone who is used to finding corners, stairways and sidewalks to sit on and brood, content with a shadow to accompany her, it wouldn't hurt to say that I get lonely too. And you may say nothing gets lonelier than being alone. There is. There is something more lonelier than being alone and sometimes, a whiff of another's breath makes me realize that I still exist and not a shadow of a woman. There are some things I love doing every once in a while, but not often, such as:

I like talking to strangers. Strangers that makes you feel like family in an instant without the dubious, pretentious looks in their faces. Strangers who doesn't need to know where you came from or who you are or if you have a good college GPA. Strangers who will easily share tidbits of their life and laughs over it without the fear of being scrutinized for being the person they are.

Current Chronicles: Grateful

This is the second week of my "healthier me" plan and so far, it's good. Being aware of how the savory, sweet things does to your body makes you want to keep away from them, no matter how deceptively enticing they are. It's somewhat like sin; very amusing, pleasing to the eye, but has adverse effects in your heart and soul. While I still have tasted a bit or two of my peppermint dark chocolate, I am refraining to eat those starchy carbs which will make my blood heavier with undigested sugar. I want to be fit and healthy to be able to comply to God's service.

And the change is coming pretty nicely this 2014.

そっと小さな温もり集めて...

This week opened up so nicely for me. Last week was like a push to a new, healthier direction, and although I am taking small steps towards that (I'm a bad creature of habit, and I am a person loyal to my routines). I haven't eaten truckloads of veggies, but I have lessened my carbs and I am counting the grams and calories that I eat. I am going to be a skinny diabetic if I keep on filling my blood with lots of sugars.

Morning breakfasts AWAY from my desk is my new pleasure. I mean, having to sit down on your place at the table, take time to eat your oats and milk while scrolling over your mails is awesome. I keep the crumbs off my laptop, and I enjoy my food. Love!

I am waking earlier than my January-February waking time, basically because it's getting warmer and I am aware that I want to work myself up as much as I can. I am piling on clothes just to do the laundry and keep standing when doing piano and to move and move to burn those calories. A little more push and I'll be doing those long walks in the morning. Lord, give me a jogging partner.

Current Chronicles: Eyes all over the place

What have I been doing? Hopping from one blog to another and leaving my little fairy trails to put a smile on the writer's face. Why, it feels so good to peek at the home of a stranger and leave a cookie or two and make them feel a lot appreciated. My little blog home is a bit cobwebby, but that's because I am not bothered being alone (I'm fond of it by the way) and I just want to have a little space to vent out my heart and not have anyone to look at it.

It's never going to be 'back to square one.'

My X-ray just came in this morning. Last week, I had such a fright when there was an indication that I had "abnormal spots" in my upper lung. And heck was I scared, for a bit that is. After whimpering, "Lord, help me please," I just felt this warm liquid hug enveloping my body and I was comforted after tearing up on my desk.

I had a similar scare a few years ago and I knew how it happened. I was young, I was weak, I was frustrated with myself and I got sick. At the back of my mind it was a slow suicide. But now, everything has changed. When back then, I was okay to die (without really having to kill myself), right now, I wanted to live.

And having a fright like this was just like remembering that thundering circumstance I had before. But somehow, a stronger hand gripped me, and I just had to tell Him, "Lord, I believe in You. I wish this isn't what they think it is, but if it is, I know I'm not back to square one again. I know I'm moving forward. This may be falling forward, but it's still forward. Forward to that place You wanted me to be in."

All the feels: It's not that I'm lazy. I'm blaming the cloudy afternoon

I feel much, much comfortable after changing my curtains. My room feels roomier and the colors are just speaking of "Spring!" although we don't have Spring, or Winter, or Autumn here. We're all summer and rain, which is why I am in a place where there's eternal sunshine.

Unfortunately, the sun chose to hid himself today and I'm feeling a LOT sleepy.

I feel a bit stricken after ranting yesterday that I "don't want to be in a corner", which unfortunately, is where I still am. But speaking in a Christian view, I get to understand that this is where I'm supposed to be now, presently. And that's all I've got. Now. It's funny how I am being taught to quit (day)dreaming and live in the present, just as when Takuto wrote a message to his future self and hid it in a bottle. I wouldn't know what's going to happen tomorrow, but I gotta go with today's feels, however random it is. So there.

Current Chronicles: Do what you want to

And never mind the wrongs or rights. The best part of living is LEARNING, and not making it right the first time. It's just so unfortunate that I learn these lessons in my late 20s.

Go Remind Me: I'm into something BIG

Realizing you've got some health issues really brings on the need for change in your life. And in my case, it came just the right time. I needed change. I was stuck. I kept on dreaming but I didn't know how to get there or how to even get out of this hole I sunk in. And just then came a hand that is slowly pulling me out, letting me see all the gunk I lived in, and is patiently letting me know that, "This is the time, but You and I gotta do something."

Your sunshine's on my face

This post is created to mark the week I have finally overcome. It's not that hard of a week, but there were many thoughts, doubts and realizations and I am just so glad I'm here where I am.

Giving it back to gravity

It's amazing how we can learn at small, everyday circumstances. The things we never thought could help us are actually the best teachers. I like simple things the most, and absorb all lessons that I can, because they're pure truths. It may be my comfort zone, but having these moments make my heart feel it has taken a bigger space out of my chest and my lungs are getting tinier and finickier every moment.

Current Chronicles: You just have to believe

In a world that says "to see is to believe," there are those foolish idiots who prefer to believe first, because it happens. I'm going to be among those foolish idiots. I will believe. Because it happens. Because I'm not going to rely on how the wind is going to blow fate's circumstance for me. I'm going to want something, and want it so hard that I'll keep on praying and trusting and believing for it, until it happens. Because it will. Because I believe it will.

Current Chronicles: Clinics, strangers and the love for Takuto

It's a day filled with strangers, alright. Some of them are so interesting, you'd want to spend a few of your life's minutes just to listen to them. Others are just so downright oblivious that you'd want to be away from them at the quickest time ever. If we were to meet, what kind of stranger will you be? #1 or #2?

One word of advice: On making decisions

Source

A letter to Jesus: As long as I hear You

It's been the longest time since I felt so far away from You, Jesus.

My thoughts in five words

This isn't an original idea.

Current Chronicles: Fastbreak

Can I just freak out and just flail being the entirely childish girl I am? Good Lord, if I could only hold Your hand and just press it tightly and look at You with gigantic big eyes because I am so overwhelmed at all the beautiful things You've been making and I'm like, completely speechless.

Current Chronicles: There's so many colors!

That green is not just green, you know. You have to find the blues, the browns and the grays in it. It's all there, depending on a mix. So a color is not just a color. A color is a mix of so many colors and it cannot be explained by one word.

After that, I was thinking of what was expected of me.

This is not my first time admitting this, but I hate social events. Not all of them, but the cold, social ones you're expected to do good, meet old friends, hang out, flirt, and all. I hate expectations. Expectations limit me. And I hate being limited.

Back to my pre-school home: Malolos Christian School

Yes, pre-school. Malolos Christian School, which launched my learning journey 25 years ago, is celebrating their silver anniversary. To commemorate the this milestone, the school gathered every single student from every single batch for the whole 25 years.

My Substitute Valentine.

Because it's Valentine's and I have no Valentines, my dad took pity on me and bought me something. Some things, I mean.

If it weren't for this man, I have no reason to celebrate Valentines.

Thanks for filling up my lonely spot for 28 years, Dad. Because there is you (the rest of the family and Jesus), I have no reason to be really lonely at all.

Current Chronicles: No, you don't have to tell me THAT.

My brain talks more than my mouth does, really, and it goes on forever and ever like a record ringing without sense, that is, sometimes.

He was a policeman with redemption in his hands

I am so hyperventilating right now. Move over, 三浦 春馬. My crush of the highest levels, 向井理 has returned and he's taking on his sentai-superhero spirit in the form of a boxer/special agent in S－最後の警官. And his tokki (rabbit) teeth is just the best smile ever, despite him losing his gorgeous George-ness in パラダイス・キス and the rest of his luxuriously clad self in his other derailed roles. Really derailed.

Yes, me swooning over a man and not a piece of art. Because a man is a man, and not just the curves of his collar bone or the length of his neck. No, he's not art. He's a man. And yes, I am totally making a poem out of this.

I am ashamed that I am letting my thoughts reign and it is beginning to have no boundaries, but I don't want to use it for bad, only for expressing, only for the good of my heart. And it's like words are tumbling down my tongue like when Jack and Jill fell over the hill and it really feels good after you have written something beautiful! Although strange at the same time, like that type of chocolate with fruit and rum with a really odd taste.

Noises in the night

Lately, I've been staying up all night
Wide awake in bed, hearing
Voices, wildly howling at the moon
Like fists thrown into the air

I remember the times I used to sleep
With the noise, because it never
Bothered me at the least.

Makes me think whether the noise
I hear is something else
Like a thumping of the heart
Of whispers of the brain
Reminding me of spaces

Gravity reminds me it exists

"Everything that shoots up will go spiraling downward. That's okay. It's called gravity."

I'm advised to write whatever goes inside my head (whether it's plain sick or just random) so I can improve my skills, and I'm going just that. I have no inspiration. I'm absolutely feeling a bit slacked up and slapped by a bad reality. I feel bad a bit, but that's because I have no book to finish. If I had, I wouldn't have an "excess time" where my mind will be wandering, wondering what to do. These are the days.

No, I'm still not over that wrongfully mistaken contract which I have to stick to until now. It's bad, but at least it's something. When I realized it wasn't as explained, I felt my self-confidence going down the rubble. All hard work, just for a measly sum. But after a few days I tried to logically understand it. Somehow my brain declares it realistic, for the client at least. But really, I felt small.

I'm feeling very small.

Of finding a spiritual family

Ate Gladys asked me if I could join her cell group yesterday. It was nicely put. I nicely answered. It was a hesitant no. I didn't say it outright, but I feel like it was my answer. I didn't have a nudging. And really, I felt a bit ashamed after knitting my brows at Ziko when he chose not to join his own cell group. When everybody was there. When it could have been fun. Maybe, I was just like him, having my own principles about people's opinion and standing by it. It's like a chunk of gold you don't appreciate because you're looking for diamonds. It's like drawing alone across the empty table is becomes more meaningful than hearing chatters of voices that wouldn't really satisfy my soul. Not that I am a snob. I have different needs, and I somehow discovered how I could fill it.

There are a limited number of people whom I decided to lean closer to my far-distant personal atmosphere. You know who you are. Our conversations are different but just the same, I felt really vulnerable and strong at the same time. It was a blessing conveying all my broken-corded emotions to you, because vocally I suck. Sometimes it sounds sadistically creepy. But somehow your heart reached out to me just as when I reached out yours. The harmony is beautiful. And our conversations, despite tears and realizations and arguments, always end up at an inspiring note. Always. Being with you guys is just amazing.

You are the hero of my book

If you're reading this blog

If you're reading this blog,
You're reading my soul.

 

My voice whimper at the mention
Of my name. I don't like talking
About myself a lot.
Not that there's nothing to
Tell, but I find that there's more
Than the little things that made me cry last, or
My top 5 favorite movies or the what I ate
That made me look constipated
And uneasy as you put in your question.
My mouth opens at the exclusion of
The "me" word and sometimes I
Forget myself because
Myself isn't really a significant word.

 

Current Chronicles: Would not be dampened.

Seriously. I will not let you.

Reminders for some silly aliens aboard the Earth

Or some random things similar to that. Because you have stepped into new territories, a new kind of air will fill your lungs. You may be subjected to obey our planet's gravity. You will live a hundred or more years without a wrinkle on your forehead. There are snail creams for that, but yeah. Your existence may cause you and your neighbors danger. To keep living under the radar (and inside the small screen), please follow these gentle reminders that will help you dwell in our planet at ease.

• If you are an alien without the green, gooey skin, heavy ram horns, six spider eyes and a mouth with forty-two set of teeth, your are welcome. Especially if you look like him:

Ah yes. We love aliens of this kind!

The Still Small Voice

Of listening to that Still Small Voice everyone of us longed to hear.

When you love

When you love, everything feels like spring. Like the warm rays of the sun kissing you on your frost-bitten skin. Like flowers growing on a desert-beaten soil. Like seasons you've already known, but have never appreciated it as mightily as now.

 

When you love, that person is all you know. You look at him like a chocolate praline or a heavy bowl of deliciously laden ramen. The rest is unsatisfying and bland. He's the only one you want. He's the only love you want.

 

When you love, your heart begins to make music, thumping and clanging like an obstinate drumset, kicking into your chest as if it wanted to explode. Your rib cage is constantly pestered by a stubborn tenant, and the only way you can keep it is to make a deep long sigh, like telling a secret to the wind.

 

Being in tune: the playlist

Yes, that's Benny, and he's been so dusty because his owner failed to give him TLC. I told you, I cleaned my room but not entirely. Benny is included in that exception. But despite him being cobweb-by, he's my only date for Valentines, along with Happy, my laptop. Yes, I am a pitiful creature. I date appliances, not humans.

A Shoe Story: It's purple and I can't let it go:

The bad thing about buying online is you'll never know whether it'll fit you, or them, your recipient, for that matter. But since I am the type that wears anything (may it be hit or miss), it doesn't bother me, until this particular thing. Oh, flats. When I realize my shoe gallery is slowly reduced due to my annually depreciating shoes, I knew I had to buy one. Something I could walk and run comfortably with and still look nice. The rubber-soled Hebe  (my 2012 purchase by the way) is giving up on me, and since Pantone's color of the year is with a splash of Purple, I chose velvety one with gold sidings for that extra chic effect.

Current Chronicles: Feeling New

The den has been cleaned! Nobody greeted me "お疲れました" but it's alright; the feeling of having the space settled (although still unsettled, because I dwell in a mess) is just pleasant. I had to make do with some spaces, but all in all everything's quite right. There's this empty area in the middle--I always leave it for me to walk around, and my cabinet won't open as wide as it should. I woke up to this sight this morning and I am refreshed, really. What a nice thing it is to have a spanking nice room you could call 綺麗!

The Little Things

Call me a kid. I may even hug you for it. I have this great love for everything childlike, not childish, don't you mistake one for the other. You know...

• Those big, wonder-clad eyes, staring straight at you as if you're a real fairy doing some of her magical works in conjuring images from a ballpen.


• Or like when someone literally glomps you because they think that you're a mannequin (or someone who badly resembles one)


• Or when you get random messages on Facebook and you just get to connect with your most beloved people from every part of the world.


• Or when you and your friend shriek out because both of you think this guy is a hottie and either one of you becomes a convert. Mention Miura Haruma here.


• Or when you just sit down quietly somewhere with a friend who needs a pat on the back, and patting them in the back makes you feel you also have been patted on yours too.


• Or when you just pass by someone, greeted them with a smile or a cheer, and you knew you somehow made their day a little bit brighter

These little things make up my life. I actually turn my back on bigger things (job offers on Sizzling Singapore and Dashing Dubai, going into conferences, meeting the amazing cultural creatives from this collaborative community I am following, seeing my artist friends and encountering new ones, which are really otaku-ish and most often charming, and so on) just so I can keep my eyes settles on the little midgets waiting to take my hand every Sunday, or the bigger girls confiding about their newest crush, and so on. My weekends are the most hectic time of my life, I suppose, when work is all routine and robotic. Meeting these people, my church family, reminds me that I have life. And it's the life I dedicated in choosing to be with them over anything.

Well, you know, that is, for now, I suppose.

I have my Daddy long-legs too.

Do you know the feeling of waiting for someone you want to see ever so greatly, and even a glimpse of that person just won't come? Right. I just had that feeling. In this case, it wasn't someone. It's sleep.

Soapdish. Wash your hands.

Let me wash my hands. Off this gloomy self.

Current Chronicles: This first of February

I ain't, in any way, excited. Call me sarcastic. February is not my favorite month.

Current Chronicles: Dipped in honey

Okay. That's honestly nothing. Although I did woke up with a bad sore throat. The cold isn't going away, I tell you. Not even in February. Nooo, it's much colder that month.

She is who she is without an apology

You. Crazy.

Me and my own image

I have become so full of myself I didn't know I am my own idol. I protected myself, prevented anyone from seeing myself, covered myself and then tore me up into pieces. I have always wanted to be loved and I felt so selfish of never wanting to give that love away. I am a Barbie; I trembled to be a plastic, but I loved that respect.  I have knelt down on my own image and I didn't know it. I never knew it.

So God, please. Help me not to make an idol of my image. Help me, so that whenever I look at the mirror, I could only see you. Only you.

A dozen thoughts in a heartbeat

There must have been a dozen thoughts streaming from my brain every second: decisions, words to speak, what to do, which is proper, which is better. I always choose to bring out the positive ones and let the storm rage in my innards. I choose to be private with my chaos. Not because I don't know how, or feel that they don't matter, but the world has so many chaos to deal with.

Thank God for this soul with ridiculously long tolerance. (This is upto this day, I don't know about tomorrow!)

I just conclude, I don't need to say anything. I don't need to explain. Who I am, despite being under construction, doesn't have to share, unwound, and scratch the scars of the yesteryears. I don't have to talk about myself. I don't have to talk about my old wounds. Those does not matter. As Miko says, it's over. I don't have to live nor deal with it anymore.

My account of yesterday, the Girls' Date Day, when we're already not girls.

Yesterday was pretty amazing, I tell you.

I have always liked traveling in a car, with companions to talk to, but traveling alone has always that special place in my heart. I like looking at people, observing their warmth (or apathy, if there's none), smiling at them and making their day bright, and just be that little ray of sunshine who just stepped out of her house.

Stepping out of my house means me looking decent, not like the shabby person I am whenever I stay in my "cave." (Writers ought to be messy, food everywhere, papers here and there etc.). I was thinking of what to bring with me that morning, whether a book or a drink, and I chose a book, because a book is particularly my comfort zone. I'm not the one to sit down somewhere and wait while drinking. I'd rather keep my eyes on some pages and follow a story to keep my mind going.

I got there unscathed, with Miko texting me then and now, wondering if I had any questions or so. I had to reply with a bunch of smileys to assure them it's okay, I'm on my way, and at the back of my mind, all of my parts are still here.

My love for you

My love for you is
A thousand mornings
That knows no night.

Whispers of the soul

I had a talk with a friend this Sunday morning after worship, and it really warmed my heart. Towards the end of this week, I was searching for something real, because something happened that made my inspirational channel just shut out. I don't know why, but I seem to have tendencies of super high-high joy and super low-low sadness. I'm in that middle low, and before I plunge into a frothy ocean of frustration, please send me that lifesaver!

Roxanne and I started this habit the other week, when we found it was effective. We started with faces of satisfaction, that nothing is wrong, just a tiny bit of a scare due to another's fault which she lets pass. Ten more minutes and I found myself blabbering at why I felt burned out in my ministerial case. She wasn't talking, had that smile plastered on to her face. I was just my regular self, spilling what I should spill out, for the rest of my gooey emotions are to precious for me to let anybody see but my soul. We went out talking about our last workers, the duo which rang a spiritual fire within our church, and we just keep on talking why now isn't the same. Both of us bitterly reminisce the past because we experienced the change there. We changed (into something better) there, then, and we wanted to share THAT change, if not the experience. Unfortunately that time is over. Inspiration stops. No more encouragements. No more beloved people. And then came her tear drops. Those tears which completely erased that smile on her face after finding out what's wrong with her.

Current Chronicles: Me Recently. (Like yeah it was the same idea right!)

Just in the mood for long, sarcastic titles. Oh wait, no!

Hold me together

If I were to describe the
Person I want to be with
My whole life,
I would like to ask for someone who
Would hold me together.
Someone who would
Pick me up whenever I'm broken.

The thing I'm afraid of

Current Chronicles: Dive in

One of my past clients contacted me today and asked me if I could help him out on a project. I just had to say yes. The idea of getting money out of it was way behind my mind. All I was thinking was, this is something new, I like new things, and I'd like to try my hand on new partnerships and brands, if not the experience.

So I said Yes. Dive in.

Of Humans and Books

I am finally convinced that I look at humans like books. Each person has a story to tell. And every story is different. There's comedy, passion, adventure, and etc. Their chapters unravel and I like looking at them with big, curious eyes. I like spotting something new. Like the change in their faces, the choice of words they speak, the type of clothes they wear, their reaction towards things. It's a wonderful discovery and I love observing them. It's like reading an excerpt of what's currently written inside their souls.

I have always known what genre I love to read. I love sweet stories; stories about life, family and heartaches. I love mysteries; they're delicious. You know, those plots that gives you little to no idea of what the ending should be. Sometimes, I read sorrow. Sorrow allows you to realize your own pains and helps you to become compassionate with another's wounds.

Secrets are meant to be kept.

For a time, that is.

Little discoveries and whatnots

Spoiler: This blog is turning to be an "unshell my personality" space. But since we writers are suggested to keep on writing whatever goes inside our ridiculous heads, I will go on.

Your scars make you alive

Tell me, if you haven't fallen
Then I can conclude
You haven't walked.
If you have not stumbled
You have not run.

Current Chronicles: In my opinion

Do you know the feeling of having your nose holes growing warm and large enough to suck in your desk in it? That's how I'd describe myself looking at Miura Haruma. Gosh, how can any man be so beautiful? (And to think I rather opposed THAT idea until 君に届け comes along)

What's Up?

Hello! That's my rather ugly foot in red polish. Yes, yes, please. It's the light. It's summery here. And I can't make any excuse why I am wearing mustard colored sandals. Those are mustard colored sandals.

Current Chronicles: I Confess.

Yep, I confess. I like him, I really do. I like her too, I really do. Whoever wrote 별에서 온 그대 is a genius and I'll be forever thankful for the Wednesdays and Thursdays this show airs. Oh, subbers. You made this girl happy. Now, I confess.