Current Chronicles: You just have to believe

In a world that says "to see is to believe," there are those foolish idiots who prefer to believe first, because it happens. I'm going to be among those foolish idiots. I will believe. Because it happens. Because I'm not going to rely on how the wind is going to blow fate's circumstance for me. I'm going to want something, and want it so hard that I'll keep on praying and trusting and believing for it, until it happens. Because it will. Because I believe it will.

Sometimes all it takes is will power and a lot of imagination!

I feel silly for always praying for health. I mean, health is important. Ever since I watched 花嫁の父 I have taken health as something so important in anyone's life. I was so touched when, ehem, 向井理 (said (as Maru), "I will have to live longer so I can protect my child more." So other than spewing out my fangirlishness over this man's gorgeousness, I have to agree with Maru. I have to live longer so I can protect those who love. At least enjoy a longer time with them. I'm going to live.

Which is why I felt a bit sad going back to square one. Again. I mean, it's not confirmed but there are signs. But they need not to be signs. They only need to be motivations for me to pray harder.

Tomorrow I go back to the clinic and have my check-up continued. I still haven't gotten my blood tested, and yes, there are signs. Again. But these are going to be my motivations for me to pray harder.

After all, did I not pray to God to give me a good splash in the face for me to wake up from whatever I need to wake up from? Oh, look at this foolish girl. I still don't know what I am sleeping in.

Anyways, as I was saying, I always feel silly praying for health when it comes to our family devotion. They would look at me like a sick, sick girl who never got well and always had health problems. When I thought of health, I meant everybody, because I want us to "live longer to enjoy each other's company." But as it turns out, I am the one in need of that prayer. I. Feel. Silly.

If the results say it is what it is, I don't think I'm back to square one. Square one was depression. Square one was loneliness. I'm not depressed anymore. And definitely not alone.

I won't be back to square one. And I can bet you with you with that. It's more than just belief. I've changed and that's a fact.

Welcoming another level, of whatever kind of level that is.