Huwebes, Pebrero 6, 2014

The Still Small Voice

Devotion Diary
Of listening to that Still Small Voice everyone of us longed to hear.

"My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me." (John 10:27)


I will always remember that one activity I as a youth experienced. It was back in the days when I was a delegate in a Christmas Institute (which, unlike yours, was less snowy and very uncomfortable, with the lack of restrooms and things). One night, every one of us, like hundreds of us, were asked to pile in lines. The convention area was locked close and cold, and only one was allowed in for a time. We had a hint of what's going to happen, and we laughed about it was we waited for an hour or two for our turn.

I was a bit excited and nervous when my time came. I knew what it was. It's the Heaven or Hell game when you have your eyes entirely covered and you hear nothing but the sounds of clanging stuffs and all. You go either ways, but you won't know how, because you can't see it. You have to rely on the voices you hear, on the hands you should take, and when I got in, everything was so fast and I just held on the next thing. And so I walked. There was no obligatory obstacle course. Just plain road. And when I opened my eyes, I found I was in the group that was... in hell.

Hell yeah. That was bad. I didn't know what happened, but I ended up in "hell." And I look back at it reflecting that if I have listened, took time to lean closer, I would have probably heard the still small voice. And I would've gone the other pack.



So here's the scenario. A little "sister" sent me a message about her doing "it." Frankly I was really astounded what "it" was. She said that is is being urged to join the P&W ministry (which I though she had a knack for, because somehow I though her small beginnings are so similar to mine, but maybe that's just me) and to talk for the upcoming Youth Service this Friday. I thought that the person who was "urging" her is Miko, the Youth President and their cell group leader. And it so happened that Miko called me (which I, ever so always, miss). And she is asking what to do because this girl volunteered to speak.

I had to process it first. Ah, so the One she may be talking about is God. But she's telling me she's anxious all over, heart beating fast and that she doesn't know what to do. She was shaken, those were her words, and she acted upon it on impulse.

It was that moment when I wanted to talk to her about this, but unfortunately, Miko gave her a go.

And wasn't it just last last week when we talked about un-healed wounds? Being older and a sister, I knew this isn't the right time, but heck. God moves EVERYWHERE, ANYTIME. But sometimes what we hear is actually what "we think we hear" and those words may have been our very own voices. Why? I have to agree with Tarita:

And one more:

I wanted to tell her (the younger, impulsive little hearer) that she should wait. There are many things which "doing what we thought we heard" will end us up with. We may have acted on an impulse. We've got so many voices in our heads that we can find it hard to filter that still, small voice. Especially with someone who, like me, is fussy and anxious to serve God. #TryingHard

My dad always tells me that God is a God of Peace. Where there's no peace, there's no God. God will never send chaotic, unsure feelings when He wants you to do something. Instead, He wants you to prep up for it, stay still, wait, and let Him put everything together like it's meant for you. I've used this knowledge most of the time and I, being a phlegmatic, have always, always taken time. And God never failed me. It helped me figure out whether it is for me or not.

As you wait for God's favor, you are given another virtue: humility. You don't just make an opportunity for your own! God will! And wouldn't it be wonderful if He did? Because there's no greater feeling than having your Great Father handing out that thing to you in a silver platter. There's no need to try hard. He has overtaken you. All you need is to follow. But you have to stay still and wait.



Just recently in my devotion, I was telling God I'm willing to sacrifice this and that for me to spend time with Him. That's even going without eating and going without going during my entire devotion time, which was, really, a bit long. But a few minutes later I felt the rebuke. No, your God would never, ever, ever want to harm you. He wants you to have a fulfilling life. A life without me having to give up a finger or a spleen if it's what you wanted to sacrifice to Him.

There's this silent feeling that made me turn red, with the words "Why do you keep on breaking yourself into pieces when God is always doing His best to put you back?" Yes, I felt silly. And humiliated. But I felt happy, because somehow, I knew I heard His voice. A calming, soothing feeling, reassuring you that you are being loved and cared for, even if you won't care for yourself. Amazing. It's like an invisible hug poured all over your body and my heart just dances a jig.

That Still, Small Voice is just the most beautiful voice I will hear in my entire life. And I will keep on longing for it.
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