On finally, finally starting on my story, which I dream to be in print one day.

I am starting on my write-a-book-and-hope-it-gets-published journey this year, which allows me to learn many things about authoring and creating and bending the rules of the word just to give the right plot. Here are some of the lessons I've learned:

Character exploration takes to mounds and mounds of emotions. And fragments of their hearts. And pieces of their history. And their whys and hows. It's a crazy, turbulent ride, but it feels so awesome you'd like to take another jump at it once more! Lately, I've been in my alone zone. I need more time to be alone. More time to read. More time to digest everything. More time to listen to music. Writing somehow detached me from my consciousness. My heart is always longing for a big space to cuddle and imagine and jot down notes. I always have a notebook by my side and I'm so glad smartphones have giant notes that allows us to type.

First chapters are the hardest. Which is why I am given the right to write the next chapters before the first one. And I will do just that; create separate documents for each chapter and then mix them all together when I've consoled myself. It's like making a stand-alone story for each so I could edit them by themselves.

This is the first time that I started to be flexible. I read tips. I started reading and buying books and focus on first chapters, story flows, character progression, and all. It's my first time to actually put the ending on the second chapter and I feel so giddy. This is just a base draft; I'd probably discover new things on how to bend this story later on. I'm excited.

Re-writing a story allows me to look at a character with a new perspective. Like how crazy Shun is with his greed. Yes, he's greedy. And how very quiet but observant Tien is. And I'm loving Tien now. I haven't seen him this way before. Matt is not the original person I wrote, but this one is growing on me. He's less angrier, and he's got a lot of direction. And Rouen. Rouen is someone I ought to be proud of. I'm proud of her now, but I want to make sure I'll be very proud of her as the new draft commences.

This book has long been in my "to write" list, and it came with long inspirations, retakes, redos and revivals. Which is why it is harder; it came with a bulk of dreams when I was younger, not something that just arrives and drops in my lap. I guess what makes it harder is that I wanted it to be the book that I wanted when I was so young, when I first thought of it. But like Shun, I don't want it to live like a person who already died. I want to give it a new name. A new feel. The way it's supposed to be written now, and not the way it's supposed to be back then.

Writers are actually criminals. Or as clever as clever criminals. I mean, I know now that we're supposed to only leave hints of truth and let the readers discover it for themselves, like a good detective. It can be just a factual phrase. I don't need a flowery voice; that's not my tone. But I do need to hold back the facts and allow the story to unravel like a tissue roll.

Let the unraveling begin.